I am one who always sits on the fence when discussions or should I say arguments on the whole natural/relaxed air debates springs up anywhere. I always wondered the big deal till I chopped off my hair.
There is no love for the natural hair African girl in Nigeria. The hostility is just too much. My mom just assumes I am not alright at all. She is constantly attacking me and always tells me to go buy relaxer to blow out my hair.
My sister and family friend once refused to allow me attend an event with them since I refused to wear a wig. I would not even say I am Pro-Natural, I chopped off my hair because I was tired of the hair itself and intend to be a team "gorimapa" for a while.
Friends have given that look "of why the hell will you cut of your hair", a guy I recently met said he does not find women with no hair attractive (that is his own business, since I was not even attracted to him). The problem is I have not even decided if I want to grow the hair not to even start thinking of it will be natural or relaxed. Everyone seems to have assumed that I am going natural and frankly no one in my family is ready to imagine that.
I am not sure what the problem is, but from the hostility I have encountered, our people fear for that which they are not used to. Our people are used to seeing the weaves and the braids. The African natural hair is not seen to be attractive, it makes one ugly or worse you are classified as a "deeper-life member".
I don't even know how where to start the fight from, a lot of people still do not know I have shaved my hair because a lot of time, I have wigs on..right now I even have braids...but for one, I wish people would just mind their business and stop stressing my life on what decision I make with my hair.
There is no love for the natural hair African girl in Nigeria. The hostility is just too much. My mom just assumes I am not alright at all. She is constantly attacking me and always tells me to go buy relaxer to blow out my hair.
My sister and family friend once refused to allow me attend an event with them since I refused to wear a wig. I would not even say I am Pro-Natural, I chopped off my hair because I was tired of the hair itself and intend to be a team "gorimapa" for a while.
Friends have given that look "of why the hell will you cut of your hair", a guy I recently met said he does not find women with no hair attractive (that is his own business, since I was not even attracted to him). The problem is I have not even decided if I want to grow the hair not to even start thinking of it will be natural or relaxed. Everyone seems to have assumed that I am going natural and frankly no one in my family is ready to imagine that.
I am not sure what the problem is, but from the hostility I have encountered, our people fear for that which they are not used to. Our people are used to seeing the weaves and the braids. The African natural hair is not seen to be attractive, it makes one ugly or worse you are classified as a "deeper-life member".
I don't even know how where to start the fight from, a lot of people still do not know I have shaved my hair because a lot of time, I have wigs on..right now I even have braids...but for one, I wish people would just mind their business and stop stressing my life on what decision I make with my hair.
Gbam! I've been keeping mine natural too so i can trim the perm off. I haven't decided on what i'll finally do to it though but i have been getting comments. I guess since i'm not exactly a conventional kinda girl, most of my peeps have learnt to let me be :D
ReplyDelete@Lahrah
ReplyDeleteyou need to rock your hair in style and tell them to mind their business. For real! You need to get to that stage where you confidently rocking your hair. I know it sounds mean but it starts with you. If you don't tell them to quit talking about your hair , then they would keep reminding you left and right that short hair is unattractive. You cut your hair because you had a reason for it. So enjoy it and don't hide it. Rock it in style, it's the new you and you love it. Girl! You got to get to that stage where you can tell people that you want to rock your hair as it is and anything they are thinking whether it is family or friends, boyfriends. That is their business. This is your style, enjoy it.
First off, this looks good on you. You look different-in a good way. I totally understand you that there is no love for naturals in Nigeria and it will take a lot of courage to sport a low cut and it is even more difficult when members of your own household cannot accept you, low cut and all.
ReplyDeleteNaijas and their superficial and pretensious ways. Pls don't let anyone keep you from rocking your hair. It takes getting used to as per styling especially when its in that mid-not long-not short stage but don't et them bully you jare...
ReplyDeleteYour hair is yours and you can do whatever you want to do with it. I also had to shave my hair off and start afresh because my hair was breaking and it stopped growing. Just do whatever works for you and don't mind anybody.
ReplyDeleteThis is the story of my life...You have written all that is going on with me since i cut my hair...usually with the Nigerians though
ReplyDeleteAww first I want to say you look so pretty in that picture.
ReplyDeleteWow, you just triggered some thoughts in my head, I might actually face this when I go to Nigeria myself? God help us
*Now turning up "I am not my hair" by India Arie and Pink* LOL
I am not on either camp but like you, in the middle of do what suits you. This looks great on you and you had a reason for it, so enjoy it like Destiny said.
ReplyDeleteBefore I forget to ask, what's a 'deeper life member'?
ReplyDeleteAfrican-Americans went through what you're going through in the 1970's. The problem wasn't with white people but within the African-American community. Like you wrote, it all got rather vicious. I didn't know what to say then and don't know what to say now, except that it eventually sorted itself out and women here now wear their hair as they choose -- well, except for some from another era who can get their dander up. My personal view on the matter is that regardless of race when a woman steps out of the house or wherever, she should feel good about herself. Self esteem is important. I think it's beyond rude to speak poorly about a person's hair-do. So, girl, hang in there, be yourself and do what makes you feel good about being you. It's what's inside that really important anyway. And you've got heart!
I am not a natural hair nazi, but I love natural hair. If you decide you want to keep natural hair in Nigeria, I can help with issues you face. And trust me, there is a virtual natural hair community in Lagos, and they are friendly to people with all types of hair.
ReplyDeleteWhen I said this some time ago people called me a natural hair nazi.
ReplyDeleteThe real nazis are Nigerians with relaxed hair who feel they must harass anyone they see into relaxing their hair with their stupid and insulting comments.
Welcome to the world of suffering that natural Nigerians experience every day.
Welcome to the dark side....*Nollywood laughter*.
ReplyDeleteSeriously though, after a while I let all that negativity go. There are Naturals that harass folks with relaxed hair and folks with relaxed hair that harass those with Natural Hair.
To enjoy my decision to keep my hair natural, I stopped looking at what others were doing. You will definitely keep getting negative remarks. 3 years in, I still do. However when I feel my lovely hair and see how healthy it is, all that negativity just doesn't matter. I am doing what I want and that is priceless.
You have to play deaf to all you hear and rock it girl. That's the only way to go.
ReplyDeleteLol, I fund this post funny. Pele. There's definitely not much love for natural hair in these parts. I'd say just keep doing you. And if anyone says you should not follow them somewhere because of the hair, say ok then find your way there and seat beside them, they won't be able to chase you away :)
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Deletesit*
Lol....@ mstizzle, You this babe, I can see mischief is in your blood
DeleteAwww, that's not nice/kind or even their business. My strict standard for hair is, do what suits you. That's all :)
ReplyDeleteMy mom objected to me cutting my hair but is now a number one proponent of me never ever ever getting a perm again. They will come around Sooner or later, they will either fall in love with your hair, or have to recognize that it is on your head, not theirs. Either way, they will get over it.
ReplyDeletevery beautiful blog. and Desert Safari Dubai is really a thrilling place to visit.
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