Make sure you go for a medical check before you leave that country oh, said my mother.
Motigbo, I will find a clinic when I have time, I replied.

Don't tell me when you have time, you have been in that place for too long and just make sure you do the check, she said.

Knowing my mother would not end the call till I agree to her wish, I agreed to make her end the call.
2weeks after my mother's call and 2days to go before I leave India, I decided to go the checkup.

As expected, my Cholesterol level was high; calcium and hemoglobin level was low and the doctor advised eating biscuit bone and a lot of vegetables. I was particularly scared of contacting tuberculosis, with all the spitting and all, lungs, the kidney was fine.

Time for the ultrasound and after watching Grey Anatomy and Private Practice, you get to know once there is a change of expression that something is wrong. Sonographer asked if I had a gynecologist, I gave her the look like  I can't be pregnant and I wondered why the hell I would need a gynecologist when I was not there for a pregnancy scan. Then she gave me the news. I had cysts on my right ovary and it was quite large, 8cm she said. Sensing my fear, she said oh it is not cancerous, it benign. She advised that I wait for another 3months to take another ultrasound. By this time, I have less than 8hrs left in India, I was no longer covered by medical insurance offered by the organization.

I immediately placed a call to my dad who also happens to be a medical doctor, scanned the results to him and he told me not to worry. He would seek a second opinion, I don't have anything to worry about. The nonchalant part of me decided to take it off my mind since I was assured it was benign and would probably shrink itself with the menstrual flows.

Early August, I received the news from my dad, I am to have a laparoscopy. it is a minor procedure he said. I told him, I would like to have another scan as advised by the sonographer in India. He advised me to have the scan in Germany, I told him, I would take it in Nigeria since I was visiting. Madam sonographer in Nigeria went straight to the point, the cyst is too big to shrink on its own, she already told my dad that. Instead of shrinking, it would keep growing and affect my bladder, liver, and kidney. I looked at the woman like she had just given me the death sentence.

That sharp sudden numbing pain, irregular menstruation, sudden pain during menstruation (I am never one to experience pain during this period) now begins to make sense. I went online and read the side effect of the laparoscopy and I was scared like crazy. My father insisted I take the surgery here in Germany, I wanted to go back home to do the surgery where I was sure someone will be there to take care of me.

I finally summoned the courage and visited a gynecologist in Bonn, he looks at me and said...well if you want to have children, you should remove the cysts. He said there was no need to rush but that I had to remove it and also prevent myself from a having a ruptured cyst which is worse. I spoke to my dad and best friend who is also a nurse and they said, oh it is a minor procedure, you will be fine and go home same day.

I have never slept in a hospital before, all sickness till date has been cured by injections and medicines. I took drip once and I left for my house that same day. I actually also hate the hospital.

Finally on Wednesday, in the crazy cold, I reported to the hospital for what was supposed to be a minor procedure. Thanks to the anesthesia, I had no idea how and when the surgery started and ended. I woke up with a terrible pain. I have never experienced or felt such pain before in my life. The doctor insisted I spend the night in the hospital, I could not even object because I was just was not ready to die alone at home. The doctor came the next morning and said I gave him such a scare, what exactly happened, he did not say. I had to spend another night and so what was supposed to be a minor procedure where I go home same day, I ended spending 2 nights in the hospital.

Laughter, coughing, and sneezing has become an essential commodity, I can't do all these without feeling pain... It is really not funny at all...I am one who does all I can to avoid pain, but this pain is unavoidable and I am glad I survived. I hope this is the last of such pain.

Right now I am packing my stuff, my European journey is over for now. In a way, the whole cyst journey affected me. Now when I sit back and think about it, unconsciously I was unhappy.

Something did not just feel right and I could not place it. I am going home, I will be jobless for a while. It is not going to be easy, but at this moment, I need to decide what I really want, where I really want to call home. Will Nigeria be home or will I be packing my bags and moving somewhere else...time will tell this.

For now, I am going home to recover in the care of my mother and in the midst of my loved ones...hopefully, that nagging feeling of sadness will finally leave me. I need you to put me in your prayers and hope I find my way.

Last week I was in the city of Bergamo in Italy and also once again Belgium, I had to use up all my leaves before my last day with the company. It was more of resting and mentally preparing myself for the surgery, so I was indoors most of the time.

Kisses from Bonn
♥ Lara