Pulling the Gender card

My friends always wondered why I never went back to complete the Diploma program I registered for in Private Polytechnic. The excuse I gave was that it was clashing with my final year in the University and even though I was not your model student in class I was not in anyway ready for any extra year. Well this is why I never returned:
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It was a really stressful rainy morning in 2007, the maths' lecturer had just given some impromptu test and I cannot remember why I was in such a shitty mood. It was a really cold morning as there had been rain the night before. We were waiting for the lecturer to come in and this boy walked into the class and switched on the fan which was directly above my head. The girl sitting beside me complained and told him to switch it off but he refused.

Not saying a word, I stood up to switch off the fan. He got up and switched it on again, I was mad and I got up again to switch off the fan. He stood by the switch and as I tried to switch off the fan again, he pushed me.

I staggered and almost fell, I was like 4 years older than this guy and I was really hot-tempered back then, I landed him a terribly hot slap. Terribly hot I say because I felt the pain. He tried to hit me again and I landed him another slap. For every hand he raised to hit me, he got a slap before his hand came down, I gave him about 4 slaps that morning.

I was terribly irritated when instead of my lecturers to listen to what happened, all I heard was "What audacity did I have to slap a boy". Like these people were freaking kidding me, a guy had pushed me and tried to hit me and you are asking me why I slapped him. After that session, I never returned to the school because I never forgave my lecturers and so listening in their class was difficult for me.

I watched the video of DKB slapping Zainab in the on going Big Brother Africa game. I also watched when Hannigton hit Lerato in the Big Brother Africa Season 5 series. I hear the 2 Zimbaweans have also been evicted from the house for violence.

I am really not one for violence but when you provoke people, particularly when you emotionally provoke them, you deserve what you get, shikena. That is my 2 cents. Women liberation all you want, it is not right for a man to raise his hand on a woman, if I was in DKB's shoes, I would do the same thing. If you watched BBA in 2010, you will remember the Lerato slap also. She also provoked Hannington, I still cannot get which   is worse. I don't get why there is so much violence in BBA self, these people are practically doing nothing that makes sense for 3 months so I guess they just feel good flexing muscle.

I actually hate when the whole gender card is pulled out when it is glaring to all that the gender been supported is the one at fault. Women are nowadays are becoming unnecessarily aggressive, because after watching the whole DKB/Zainab slap video I just wanted to dash Zainab another slap for embarrassing the women community like that. Your mouth cannot be running like that like that and not get slapped. Shebi they say she is married, what is she looking for in the bathroom when the guy was taking his bath.

 I have seen women openly provoke their men just like Zainab did, some even worse. I have seen women stand up to bullying men. Some women now even assault their men and when the man dares raise his hand, she will shout and cry crocodile tears. We need to stop justifying our bad actions and run under the cover of gender  violence/inequality when we get what we deserve. I am a no violence to women and children supporter but I would not castigate the man if the women is to blame for the violence. Don't go looking for trouble and start crying foul when you experience the consequences.

This is my two cents...forgive all typos.


Kisses from Bonn
♥ Lara

Kunstmuseum- Bonn through my lens

So Sunday I attended a photography excursion class in Bonn.
I signed up for the class thinking my camera charger will be with me in Bonn by them.
One friend/flatmate had teased me about the class, telling me not to embarrass him by taking my point and shoot Canon A2200 along to such a meeting.

Since I paid 50 Euros and the course description actually stating basic photography excursion, I would not be deterred by my flatie's tease. Even though, 90% of the class came with DSLR cameras only 3 of us had point and shoot cameras. One lady even came with an analog camera she got as a gift from her parents years ago while embarking on her solo trip to the US.

Thank God I did not listen to my friend, the class would have been pointless without a camera. It was a good way to spend my Sunday which I would have other wise spent sleeping and eating. I went back home with over 300 pictures. We only got to explore the exterior of the Museum, I guess I can always go back with friends to explore the interior someday.

Kisses from Bonn
♥ Lara

1 month in Bonn

It's been over one month I left India and arrived in Bonn.
I miss India, I miss my eccentric cheap life
I miss my team-mates in TCS
I miss arguing with the Rickshaw wala and accusing him of trying to cheap me.
I miss the stares, the crazy life I had.
I miss my flatmates and all my friends.

But like they say, Life must go on.
I must say I find Bonn boring.
Yeah, the opportunity to get the passport stamped is tempting and consoling.
It lacks the warmth and life of India or, the madness of Nigeria.

I found an African shop which sells basically everything Nigerian and African.
All the food I missed in the last 17months, I have been consuming in the last one month.
My shoes finally arrived from India today, I am so happy.
So my camera charger is missing, I would have to buy a new camera if I cannot get charger here.
It actually has warranty, but unfortunately all the documents are in India.
I hate the fact that I have a camera and cannot use it or the idea that I might have to buy another one.
How I forgot it in India is the most annoying thing.

I wish summer would just come, I hate the rain and cold.
Ramadan starts next month, it sure is going to be very difficult and long.
It will no longer be fasting from 5am to 7pm, I shall fast for longer hours.
3am to 9.30 or 10pm.
God will see me through.

I hope to enter Nigeria in August, I hope things work out as planned.
I finally got my friend to take me to Koln (Cologne).
It is a bigger city, with more to see and shopping centres.
Rotterdam ( Netherlands) and Brussels (Belgium) are on the travel list for July.
I hope my travel partners do not mess up.

Sneak Peak of Bonn 

Kisses from Bonn
♥ Lara

Too Comfortable

I attended a Teleconference with my team-mates and some  HR top-shots of the company across the globe.
One of the service provider was giving a presentation on some reporting tools which they would like the teams to use for the project with we are currently working on. 5minutes into the presentation, One of the attendees interrupted the speaker and told her straight to go learn how to sell a product.

The thing is this Service Provider has been with the company for long, also the tool they were talking about was not  really a new tool but rather a modified version of an already existing tool. The presentation was so relaxed and more like you either take this option since you want something cheaper or we continue to provide you with the existing option which you are complaining about the cost.

Instead on focusing on becoming top players,  these people have gotten comfortable with giving mediocre services and expect the clients to remain quiet about it. My team lead talked about how she is not comfortable renewing their contract since the marketing guy did not leave any good impression on her.

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I was chatting with an old friend some weeks back and I asked about his really beautiful girlfriend and he told me they were no longer together. When I asked why, he replied that she got too comfortable in the relationship. When I asked whatever that meant, he said the babe was pretty much a nice level-headed girl when the relationship started and with time, she became rude, over confident and disrespectful.

I get where my friend is coming from, I can't imagine sticking to such a relationship myself. I guess the babe felt she has finally captured his heart and that of the guy's family that she felt she could get away with her actions.

I really don't know why some ladies do this, why would you pretend/hide your behavior just to get a man and unleash when you feel there is no way the man is getting out the relationship. I recently was given gist of a distant family member who while dating  her now-husband used to be very meek and gentle. She endured all the crap the guy and his family had to give. 2months into the marriage, madam change skin, was no longer cooking for the guy, was insulting the guy's mother. She even slapped the guy when he warned her never to insult his mother again. The story was just too crazy for me to deal with.


The danger of getting comfortable in life, business and relationship is that you will end up losing. You might lose it all or if you are lucky you lose some and just might be able to rectify the situation.

If you strive for comfort all the time, you just end up becoming less comfortable in general. ~Jaimie Mantzel

Kisses from Bonn
♥ Lara

The Women in my life.

Today is all about arranging the room.

I finally got a place to stay as I have been staying in a girl's room in one of the students dorm in Bonn. She was travelling and allowed me stay for 2 weeks. I later moved to a friend's place for 4days.

Anyways I got a room and I will be living in the same apartment with my friend, another Nigerian and a Kenyan girl. I am right now trying to figure out how I want the room to be arranged, pushing cupboards and furniture around. 

Westlife's "Raise me up" started playing on my system.

I love this song, it reminds me of the wonderful women in my life.

It's been 16 years since my maternal grand mother passed away. 

This woman raised me, even my mother can not compete with her in my heart.

My mother comes second place after her.
The first 10years of my life was spent with her.

My mother, what will I ever do without this woman.

My interest free bank, my backbone.

Those who know my mum and I, might actually be amazed at this.

My mum and I fight a lot, we never agree on this...

She is as stubborn as I am.

She puts me on my toes, I always make sure to give a second thought to things before doing them.

Getting my mother to agree to the things I want always requires effort, fights, selling and begging.

These women raised me up to be the product that I am.

Listening to the below lyrics, gives me joy and I am forever grateful to this 2 wonderful and awesome women for my life, for my present and definitely my future.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;

You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;

I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;

You raise me up... To more than I can be. 

Have a wonderful weekend everyone, while I go back to deciding what to do with my room

Kisses from Bonn

♥ Lara