My 2nd Masala Birthday

So my birthday was on the 26th, this is the 2nd and the last birthday that I will be celebrating in India. I miss all my flatmates and friends, because they made my day wonderful last year.

This year, I am grateful to God for all he has been doing in my life, even though I have been ungrateful, the Good God has never forsaken me.

I have been receiving gifts from the 6th of the month. I got a Kurta,a  mug and a pair of earrings from the some of the other TCS Interns who came to visit Hyderabad.

on Tuesday, one of my team-mates took me shopping, her name is Hannah Shobitha (the dazzling brightness). I will definitely miss her. She got me 3 kurtas, bangles and pearl necklace.

I also got a wallet and kurta from another team-mate.

♥ Lara  from Incredible India

Let's talk suicide

Has any of you ever thought of committing suicide? Our Indian friend asked, while he was driving my flatmates and I round town on a lazy Saturday afternoon.

Not sure of what we heard, my Ugandan flatie and I gave each-other the puzzled look and just continued talking.

Then he asked again, this time we heard clearly and we all chorused "No" and the Ugandan asked, what about you?.

He smiled and said 3 times, "I have tried".

My jaw dropped and I quickly discarded my phone, amebo antennae adjusted to hear the gist. He did not go into details but just told us that the last time he  tried was because the girl he loved was getting married to another man. His family and the girl's family had rejected the union. They found another guy for her, so she is getting married soon. 

Suicide is not a new thing to Indians, especially love suicide, a friend who lived in Chandigarh said there is a lake in the city where lovers who are not allowed to marry their true love jump into to end their lives. Last year, there was gist of some girl working with the company who had set herself on fire. Exact reason for killing herself was not really known, some said it was love suicide, some said she was in support of the Telangana issue (creation of a new state for some parts of Andhra Pradesh). I expressed my shock and everyone gave me the look of it is normal, nothing unusual. I was told the story of a guy, who had just joined the company  some years back. He did not like the project he was assigned to, I am guessing, it is a domestic project. He felt the project was not up to mark and since no one was willing to change his project , he jumped from the 10th floor of the office building. 

Recently there was the news of the Tibetan protester who set himself on ablaze in New Delhi to protest against the visit of the Chinese President's visit to India. Unfortunately, the dude is not dead, but has to live with pains of the severe burns he inflicted on himself. 

There was also the Taiwanese lady who killed herself by inhaling poisonous fumes while chatting with friends of Facebook and none of them alerted the authorities.

There are those really happy people, who you never imagined would be having any problems and the next day, you hear the news...she killed herself, He jumped off the building.

According to the Indian guy, Indians are generally emotionally weak, they do not know how to deal with pain or affliction. And those who set them selves on fire or kill themselves for a cause, hope to become immortalised...they hope to be remembered as martyrs who died for what they all believe in. 

Suicide is surprisingly on the increase in Nigeria...Nigerians are ones who pride themselves in their endurance ability. I mean, we endure a lot of pains, calamities and sufferings (I still believe there are nations which suffer more calamities)...we are never one to give up the struggle. We are the hustlers and ever struggling people and amidst all these pains we are ever smiling and grateful for life. Nowadays we hear stories of people jumping into the lagoon, killing others, then killing themselves. I once read of the guy who cut off his penis with the hope to die, dude ended up not dying and will spend the rest of his life without a penis. 

Now we have suicide bombers in Nigeria, those who are dying for extremely stupid causes, they have been brain washed into believing they are fighting Allah's cause, that Allah will grant them Al-Jannah for killing innocent lives. I really don't even know where to begin with these set of people. I can't even begin to imagine the darkness in their hearts and how they can believe they are doing good and fighting Allah's cause by killing  other people.

Someone once posted on twitter that we as human beings cannot deny having thoughts of suicide once in a while, this I argued with him about but he said I am living in denial. 

I am not one to judge, but once in a while when I hear some suicide stories, I just can't help but roll my eyes and be like what the hell were you thinking. Some people justify their suicide and when you read or hear about them you can't help but feel sorry or pity for such victims. 

I can only speak for myself, I hate pain, I do all my best to avoid pain, so I cannot imagine wanting to end my life. Emotionally I am weak, but never weak to the point of considering suicide. My friends say my heart is made of stone, that is why I do not display emotions. I would not say I am not an emotional one, but I am very good at repressing my emotions, which a lot of people say is bad for me. 

I know it is a sad world, really sad world...but since we are all going to die someday why put an end to it by yourself (my 2cents, you don't have to agree).

♥ Lara  from Incredible India

Grateful for this minute

My Uncle died on Easter Monday.

I spent the day at work and I complained all through, wondering why I had to go to work, wondering why India was not like the rest of the world. Lamenting why we got Good Friday off last year and not this year.

A friend's brother lost his 4year old son that same morning

The kid had blood cancer, I was meant to visit the kid in Bangalore as I had been communicating with the father and helping them out as best I could from Hyderabad.

While still talking to one of my cousin's about my uncle's death, my friend pinged me on bbm and gave the sad news of the kid's death. 

I spent the night thinking, how while I was complaining, some people did not even have the opportunity to complain. Some people were in  pains, fighting for their lives. Some do not even know what plan for tomorrow because today is still a mystery for them.

I have taken a lot of things for granted this past year, I have lost track and most importantly cannot seem to balance my spiritual life.

I am grateful for this minute, this moment...even if I cannot guarantee tomorrow. I am grateful.

I am grateful for my mother, my sisters, for my health and every thing I am blessed with in this world. 

Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment. ~Buddha

What are you grateful for?

♥ Lara  from Incredible India

When Death hit right home

2012 is fast becoming my least favourite year.

It is just April and the news of death is ringing so loudly close to my ear.

This time, death hit very close to home.

I know he was old; over 80, he lived his life to the fullest. He lived to see his grandchildren, his first grand-daughter even got married in his life time.

But the thing is no matter how old a person becomes, you never wish a day will come when you will never get to see them again. 

He was my aunty's husband(My mother's elder sister). He was a father to me, He is the only man, I call daddy. His words and wisdom I respect so very much. I love discussing world politics and every other intelligent discussions with him. He always loved taking us down memory lane, his experience with the British Customs and all. The love for Indian movies and particularly Nigerian movies were developed spending time with him. 

Baba Crown we call him, He was straightforward and was not one to mince words with you....He says it as it is and how he feel them. 

I will miss those moments, when I will have to chase after the newspaper guy, because baba must read the papers in the morning. Those moment when I will try to convince him to buy Punch Newspaper and he says they do not have any good story that morning. Wondering why The Tribune Newspaper was never missed. The Guardian Newspaper was a no no because their grammar was too much and never straight to the point. The way he rolls his eyes when he believes we are lying or the way his face changes when he is angry.

I really was looking forward to spending some time with him, when I return to Nigeria. 

But as Allah will have, I will not have that pleasure. 

He lived well and we will miss him.

Inna lillah wa inna 'ilayhi raji'un... Adieu Prince Olayinka Rasak Bakre.
♥ Lara  from Incredible India

Pre-India Myths

I have heard of lot of stories regarding India before my sojourn to the Incredible Land. Some I believed, some I did not. India has taught me that you really have to live the experience to defend an opinion.

Myth 1: That all Indian Ladies are beautiful and the Men, sexy.
Bollywood and the Beauty Pagents are to blame for it. Common, It is a tie between India and Venezuala for the  countries with the highest winners of the Miss World title. Aishwarya Rai and Priyanka Chopra were both past winners of the title and are also Bollywood actresses. Okay, Look at Salman Khan's picture below and tell me you do not think he is sexy. Yeah, they have the really long air, but asides from the hair, most of them are just plain looking.

Aishwarya Rai

Priyanka Chopra

Salman Khan

Myth 2: India is Cheap
This is the worst myth of all, biko India is not cheap in any way. Okay, it may be cheap if you do not instantly convert the money to the Nigerian currency. For Europeans and Americans, India might be cheap, but for a Naija girl, nothing is cheap here. Asides from food which is really cheap, nothing else is cheap. Anything cheap here is of inferior quality.

Myth 3: Indians are all fair/light skinned
Dark Indians are the ones you never see in Bollywood movies or adverts. I never knew dark Indians existed till I landed in India. South Indians are generally dark and they can actually pass for Black African minus the hair or Northern Africans with the hair.

Myth 4: Indians are intelligent
An Indian asking me if Zulu is my language or is it the one who asked me which part of South Africa is Lagos situated that I should say dashed this myth for me. To the average Indian, South Africa is Africa and yes thanks to Cricket for this. I really would not be bothered if such statements were made by less educated people. MBA graduates, university graduates who probably slept through Geography class, that is if they are even taught geography in school. Hmmm, I know some people will jump on me for this. Yes, you have a lot of Indians in really high positions around the world, but damn intelligence is not by country.

I once argued with a friend about this and like I told him, I do not believe the Indians are more intelligent that Nigerians or the average Africans. If only Nigerians can channel their intelligence in the right direction. After living in this nation for 15months and meeting over 1000 Indians both at work or outside the office environment, nobody can convince me otherwise that these people are really that intelligent.

Myth 5: India is a dangerous
I would say my mind is more at ease living in India than in Nigeria. Okay, I am not saying it is really safe, there has been bomb blasts in Delhi and Mumbai, there is always news of rape on TV or Websites everyday. In India, I can go to sleep with my 2 eyes closed everyday. I do not have to worry about armed robbers or live in fear of my life.

Myth 6: The Indian Education system is better than that of Nigeria's
In 2006, there was this girl who had come to India for an AIESEC Internship with some project in Chandigarh. I hear Chandigarh is really nice and beautiful, but unfortunately I might not get a chance to visit the city. Back to my gist, this babe was supposed to come back after her internship and resume her final year Unilag. One day, babe sent me mail that she was not coming back to Nigeria again. Apparently she had visited one of their schools and fell in love with the environment and what not. After so much begging, babe finally came back home oh.

I tell you, I would rather send my child to study in Togo than send my child to study in India.The standard of education is not any better than what we have in Nigeria. The schools go on strike too like our Nigerian schools. They have students boycotting exams, chanting they are not ready for the exams (anyone remember the good old aluta days of Nigerian Universities). Indian Universities, like their Nigerian counterpart churns out a lot of unemployable graduates. Sign, what have I not seen in this country.

Myth 7: The wicked Villain who oppresses the masses and the many street fights.
Bollywood is again to blame for this, if you watch Indian movies a lot, then you will understand what I mean. There is sha always one wicked rich man or family oppressing the masses. There is always the heroes who always comes to save the girl from the bad guys.

I am yet to see any fight on the streets of India, max they shout at each other. Even in situations where if it was in Nigeria, bottle would have been flying, they just make so much noise and end the matter there.

Myth 8: Indians are very loving and hospitable.
If you greet people here, do not be surprised if your greeting is not returned. I struggled with this culture shock for many months before I was able to accept it as a way of life here.
Do not expect a thank you, when you help out or do a favour  for anyone in this country. My Lithuanian team-mate/flatie was always irked by this. Just like the greetings I used to wonder why so.  Indian do not see any of the above as rudeness, I definitely cannot try this in Nigeria.

If you ever get invited to an Indian home, make sure to go with an empty stomach, because you will be over fed. It is rude to refuse food offered to you in an Indian home.

Myth 9: India is hot all year round.
I remember when I arrived in December 2010, Hyderabad was really cold and JJC me had come with summer clothes. It snows in some part of India, way up North.


Myth 10: Indians all speak the same Language
Hindi is the official national language of India,  but you will be surprised to know how many numbers of Indians do not understand or speak Hindi. India is filled with so many different languages, from Telugu, to Tamil, Kannada, Marathi, Malayalam, Urdu and countless other languages which are not in any way connected with one another. Each state in India has it's own official Language. India is a a multi-cultural and multi-lingual society, Most Indians are actually multi-lingual, few of them actually speak only one Language and their Hinglish (English) sucks. India is not called a sub-continent for nothing.

5.30am, waiting for the train in Vizag to Araku Valley

Note: This is not a India bashing post
♥ Lara  from Incredible India

The month of Diamonds

Finally my favourite month of the year is here.
April...the month of Diamonds.
Happy New Month people...May this month bring with it joy, happiness and fulfilled achievements.

♥ Lara  from Incredible India